The World As I See It...

The vision of the world has changed vastly for me through the years.

There have been times when I saw no light, no hope, no me.

I spent my time looking back at hurtful times and regretting decisions that I had made either by my own choice or because I had no choice at all. Resentments set heavy in my chest because of the mental illness I had inherited from my parents. I felt sadness and loss as heavy as though the feelings were a thick cloak I wore around my shoulders. And I grieved for the person I was and the person I could have been.

Those days thankfully, for the most part, are over. I'm grateful for so much these days that is hardly seems worth the time to look back with regrets. Don't get me wrong, I still do sometimes as we all do but it is a rarity  and not nearly with as much sadness. I understand much more than I used to about life and how easily we can get locked into viewing only the bad and forgetting the good stands right beside awaiting a glance, an acknowledgement that it does indeed exist.

My sons are a such a joy to me on a constant daily basis that the old pain of not having ten children and living in a shoe, seem irrelevant.

I have wonderful friends that I love dearly.

Not to mention a dog the size of a horse who is the smartest and gentlest of any creature I have ever known and three cats with their own distinct personalities. My sons, my friends, my dog and my cats...they are my family.

And though I'm not living as exactly as I would like, I realize that your life is what you make it. 

I never believed that old saying. I never believed that you could have any power over your life.

I do now. I know now that everything is a choice from getting up in the morning to living your life with joy, hope and love. I understand that truth is most important and that honesty is always the best policy, although at times it may seem difficult in this 'graceless age'.

And that laughter is indeed very good for the soul.

And I know that I am much stronger than I ever believed I could be, that I am intelligent and that I have gifts no one else has. Am I being conceited? No, I am believing in my self and there is a difference.

And I am unbelievably grateful for the people that have come into my life. Some have stayed and are with me still, some have stayed awhile and moved on and some were only with me for a moment but all of them, every single one, taught me something and left me with a gift

.

And so, I guess my message to you would be that 'Choice' is or should be one of the most important words in your vocabulary because it determines not only who you are but who you can be.

Someone who loves and is loved, who lives with joy, wonder and hope and believes that anything is possible. Because, you know what? 

Anything is...

Until next time, My Friends...

Light and Love To You,

Ladiof Zen