Who Your Children Really Belong To ...

If you are a parent, what you are about to read may seem a bit 'out there' but if you've read some of my writing before, you know that I see things a bit differently.
I was thinking last night what amazing and beautiful creatures children are and as I began to think in more depth, I decided that I wanted to put down in writing what I was thinking, so here goes.

From the moment that a infant takes it's first breath outside the womb, he or she is an individual person. Yes, you created this child but he or she does not belong to you and you do not own this child.
Children own themselves, period.
As a parent you are responsible for caring, nourishing, protecting, cherishing and loving your child.

And let me say that if you had a child to keep from being alone or because you wanted something that was 'yours', then you had a child for the wrong reason.

Having children out of love, is a selfless act, not a selfish one.

For infants, their world consists only of their mother. Mother is the word for God on the lips and hearts of all children. But by the age of two, they begin to differentiate between the world of 'Mother' and the outside world. They begin to realize that they are indeed separate from their mother and are individuals, with feelings and needs that belong only to them. They become independent and rush to explore this brand new, exciting world and if nurtured in the selfless way, will have no fear and only shine more brilliantly and that is how it should be.

Yes, I know you may be anxious and protective of your child as most mothers are.
But its important that you let your child be the individual that he or she is and not the person you believe they should be.
Your child is not here on this earth to fulfill your expectations.
They are here to fulfill theirs.

Let your child do that...
Nourish, guide, protect and love your children but just as importantly, encourage
their independence and their strong self of self.

And then, sit back and watch your child become the brilliant, amazing and beautiful person he or she was meant to be.

Until next time My Dear Friends...

Light and Love To You All,
LadiofZen

The End Of The World As I Knew It...

Monday October 26, 2009, my world as I knew it came to an end.

My mother, who was my best friend, fiercest supporter and favorite person, passed away.

My mother had Alzheimer's for several years and the last few had been the hardest as she lost the ability to speak and recognize family members. When I would visit her, I felt such anguish at not being able to communicate with her since one of our favorite things before she fell ill, had been to sit and talk for hours.

My mother had a wonderful sense of humor and many were the times where we would become hysterical over something silly, tears running down our faces as we uncontrollably laughed. Her death wasn't unexpected since she had been in a hospice nursing home but her death seemed unreal to me, like a hideous nightmare I wanted desperately to awake from.

At the funeral as I went up to her casket sobbing, I lay my head on her stomach as I had done so many times as a small child. The pain of knowing I would never see her again, talk or laugh with her or just be with her, was devastating for me although the feeling wasn't something new. I have missed her presence in my life for the past several years as she became more and more ill with Alzheimer's as well as other illnesses.  My mother had a very hard life and it wasn't until recently I realized how very strong she was and what unbreakable spirit she had. I am proud of my mother, of the person she was. After the funeral, at the family gathering, my siblings told me how very much like my mother I was in my gestures and appearance and I take that as a comfort.

Her support of me as an adult was unwavering, her love constant and her friendship a joy. That support, love and friendship was not just limited to me but to my two sons, Joshuea and Jefferson, whom she loved as though they were her own.

On one of the last visits I had with her, as I was leaning over her to say goodbye, I kissed her forehead and told her how much I loved her, I saw tears brimming in her eyes. The look on her face almost undid me as I, myself began to cry. I told her how very much I loved her and that we would always be together, and always be a part of each other.

And I think, in my heart that she not only heard me, but understood me as well.

I love you Mommy, so much.

Be happy now, you are free...

LadiofZen