How Long Does the Pain Last? As Long as it Lasts...

Several years ago, I fell head over heels in love with a woman. For those of you that don't know, I am a lesbian and have been since 1992. This woman was everything; brilliant, funny and wise, I could not help but love and adore her.

Because it was a long distance relationship and because we were both ill at the time (me, bipolar disorder and she with an auto-immune disease), after six years and many, many ups and downs, I ended it. There is much more to the story than that but much too much to go into here.

Even though I had ended it and she accepted my decision, I was devastated. I grieved constantly; sitting alone by myself, in the bath, listening to music, at bed at night. I couldn't eat, could sleep and was unable to even think clearly, the pain was so intense. I made myself physically ill over the loss of her. Part of my grief had to do with the fact that we couldn't try again. We had done that several times and this parting was to be the last.

I couldn't face the fact that she was not to be a part of my life any longer. I would ask my friends,"How long? How long is it going to hurt like this?", but they had no answers for me. They could only look on with concern and assure me that I was loved and cared for.

I tried everything to ease the pain which sometimes doubled me over with the intensity of it.

I tried dating other people but they only reminded me that they were not her and I realized how unfair it was to the person I was dating so I stopped dating altogether.

I tried hating her because I thought it would make it easier but I couldn't do it...I still loved her deeply. And I prayed to God to take the pain away and to forgive me for hurting her.

Finally, after two years it started to ease. I could think of her and not have tears well up in my eyes. I could remember the gifts she gave me and cherish them. I could smile as I remembered some of the funny and witty things she had said. And I was grateful to God and The Universe for allowing me the chance to know her.

So how long does it take to get over a broken heart? As long as it takes...

There is no set time and each person is different. Go ahead and grieve. Accept the truth of the situation because nothing is served by lying to yourself. Be honest about how you are feeling to yourself and to others. Be good to yourself during this time.

Meditate, read some self help books, watch some comedies...Yes, love can be extremely painful and may not seem not worth the risk. But it is, that glorious feeling of love for another person is a feeling that gives you wings and allows you to fly.

So when you feel sad, allow yourself to feel sad and acknowledge the loss. And know that it won't last forever. It may seem like it, but it won't. One day, the pain will seem a little less and the next day, maybe a little more...

And never, ever give up on Love...

Until next time, My Friends,

Love and Light to All...