Random Thoughts
Daily Ramblings of a Skewed Mind
Tuesday, April 24, 2018
Ten Years Later...Will Casey Anthony Ever Be Forgiven?
In 2011, Casey Anthony was acquitted of the murder of her 2 year old daughter, Caylee.
The case was sensationalized all over the World and the mystery surrounding Caylee's death has never really been adequately explained.
The conflicting stories told by her mother, Casey would only further obscure the truth and slowed down the process
in finding her daughter, whom she claimed had been missing for thirty one days.
It was during this time that Casey's father George Anthony, in picking up his daughter's broken down car, opened the trunk
and found bags of stifling garbage and also ... the smell of a dead body.
Her mother Cindy immediately called the Police to report her grandchild missing and later, again to report the smell in her daughter's car.
When Casey was asked why she hadn't reported her daughter missing sooner, a convolution of lies were told that were so twisted
and unbelievable that neither the Police nor the public knew what to believe.
And the search for Caylee began as her mother, Casey partied with friends and co-workers.
On December 11, 2008, Caylee's remains were found with a blanket inside of a trash bag in a wooded area near the Anthony's home.
Casey Anthony was charged with the first degree murder of her daughter Caylee on October 2008.
The trial lasted six weeks.
The prosecution asked for the death penalty and alleged Casey wanted to free herself from being a parent and murdered her daughter by giving her daughter chloroform and putting duct tape over her mouth.
The defense team, led by Jose Baez, argued that Caylee had drowned accidentally in the family's swimming pool on June 16, 2008, and that George Anthony had gotten rid of and in fact, hid the body. The defense stated that Casey lied about this and other important details due to a dysfunctional upbringing, and alluded to sexual abuse by her father. The defense showed no evidence as to how Caylee died or evidence that Casey was sexually abused as a child but called out every single piece of the prosecution's evidence, calling it "fantasy forensics".
Casey did not testify. On July 5, 2011, Casey was found not guilty of the first-degree murder of her daughter, Caylee, aggravated child abuse, and aggravated manslaughter of a child, but was found guilty of four misdemeanor counts of providing false information to a law enforcement officer. With credit for time served, she was released on July 17, 2011.
A Florida appeals court overturned two of the misdemeanor convictions on January 25, 2013.
The public was incensed and outraged and Casey Anthony became known as 'The Most Hated Mother in America.'
So what has happened in the ensuing years that has made this story all the more tragic, if that is even possible?
George and Cindy Anthony's home has been in foreclosure for the last few years and they may possibly lose their home.
Every single penny they had was spent on their daughter, Casey's defense.
George contends he never wants to hear or see from his daughter again although Cindy talks with Casey infrequently as does Casey's brother.
And Casey herself? Now thirty-two, Casey says she has has no problems sleeping at night and is still making accusations about her father, some very recently to which her father has said hurts him even more deeply than he has been.
She lives in Florida with the private investigator, Patrick McKenna who worked on her case, helps him with his current cases by social media and other types of investigative work and is trying to live a normal life. She has also had two civil suits brought against her.
Although the press no longer hounds her as they used to, the public remains outraged whenever her name is brought up in any fashion and it is very doubtful the heinous crime will ever be forgotten.
Caylee Anthony would be twelve years old today.May She Rest In Peace.
For more information about this case, go to...https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Caylee_Anthony
Until Next Time,
LizaBella
Saturday, March 28, 2015
What's Up Doc?
Doctors sometimes make mistakes. But most times, they are very right. My family doctor was one of those that had made a mistake. I had cat scan at a local hospital and they had found a large cyst on my right ovary. So on my next Dr's visit, a month or so later, I mentioned it to him, and he didn't seem concerned. I mentioned it on the next visit and the visit after and again, he wasn't concerned. But because I was having extreme lower back pain for the last two months, literally bedridden, he sent me to a Urologist to check for kidney stones. So they did another cat scan and late in the afternoon, the urologist called me. She told me that yes, I did have kidney stones but that was not causing my pain. She told me she could take the kidney stones out, but again, it wasn't going to stop the pain. Her tone was so serious that I had even mentioned it to my oldest son. She advised me to go back to my regular physician for tests and she would send the report. So, I did and my family Dr sat down, looked at the report and referred me to a gynecologist, not really telling me anything. Then he told me he would be gone for two weeks and walked out of the room. I met the woman who would become my gynecologistand I liked her instantly. She did pelvic ultrasound and an MRI. And she explained all to me; the test procedures, why I needed surgery, what would be done during surgery. . I had surgery three days later and the surgery did not go as exactly as planned. Supposedly, the surgery was going to take an hour or two at most. It turned out, it took five hours and as the as the gynecologist explained to me, I had a lot of scar tissue from an emergency appendectomy years ago. And that was a very difficult surgery because all of my organs were encased in it. And she told me that again, the tumor had to come out, it was five centimeters and explained that had I waited much longer, it would have become cancerous. She had taken my ovaries and fallopian tubes as well (we had discussed it before hand and I was fine with it or so I thought). It took me more than a few weeks to recover, both emotionally and physically and I still have hard days sometimes. I am so eternally grateful that this gynecologist treated me. She was honest and forthright but also very kind. She listened and heard your concerns and addressed them. And she saved my life. This is when doctors are right, when they find the answers and heal you.Love and Light to you all, Ladiofzen
Monday, November 10, 2014
How To Love Someone You Can't Live With
When my partner and I met, it was not under the best of circumstances. She lived in Wisconsin and I lived in Texas. We talked about the problems we'd face since both of us had children. We didn't really know each other, having met online. Even so, we were much alike in certain ways and got along well. I had two grown sons here in Texas and she had a grown daughter and two sons in Wisconsin. Suffice to say we have never lived alone, just the two us. It has always been with someone, either a room mate of a relative. For six months, I lived in Wisconsin with her and then she followed me down to Texas, a place she never dreamed of living.
And by the way, She is Scottish, born and bred although she's been here for some thirty years, she still has that thick Scottish brogue. Oh, and my grown sons live with me right now. They moved in a year ago, wanting to move to a place here in Austin they could afford...it still hasn't happened.
We loved Austin and planned to make it our home until the problems started. She didn't like living with my sons and rightly so.
We weren't living alone, something we had looked forward to when our last room mate left. And then my sons had contacted me...could they stay with us in Austin until they found a place? Three months tops and they would be moving out. Only it didn't happen that way. My sons looked for a place, but every place they considered was too expensive. And so the months went on until it was a year and then over a year passed while they still talked about moving and trying to save money for a place.
Meanwhile, things in the house were getting ugly. The stress level was so bad that everyone was feeling it, even the dogs, of which we have three. But my partner and I were feeling it the worst. We began to fight, something we never really done before.
For a year, I tried desperately was to keep the peace while my partner got louder and louder and more vocal, more and more upset about the situation. And she began to not only take it out on my sons, she began to take it out on me.
There came a time when she had to go visit her daughter in Wisconsin for three weeks. I used that alone time to think, really think about my life in general. I decided the drama and tension had to go, no matter what, for everyone's sake. I also decided if the situation was so terrible for my partner, then it was time for her to find another place to live and she agreed. But when she started looking, she also realized that Austin is quite expensive and couldn't find a place she liked or could afford.
Out of desperation, my partner decided to put up a tent outside in the back yard and that is what she did and not a tiny tent either. A large roomy tent with music, fabric draping and rugs and blankets with a futon, the way she wanted it. She took great care to waterproof it and it is a place where she could go and be alone.
That is where she sleeps, where she lives for the most part an it has worked, for now.
People have made comments, but it is what we need at this time
.
Will my partner and I stay together, who knows? We do love each other very much and want what is best for one another.
That is what is important, after all...
Until Next time...
love and Light To you all,
LadiofZen

Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Awakened

About four months ago, I had a mental breakdown.
There were a number of contributing factors;
I was ill and very thin from side effects from medication, I was also in the middle of a break up with my partner of nine months; a breakup my partner did not want, I had just lost my mother from Alzheimer's the previous October and was still in deep grief, both of my sons whom I love dearly were planning on moving away very soon to begin new lives, I was fifty three and looking at my life alone and frightened out of my wits and there was a tremendous amount of stress in the household.
These things did not cause my breakdown but they did contribute to it.
And so I went into a deep dark decline that I believed I would not come out of.
I was so sure of it that I decided on cremation because of cost and checked with an attorney about a will to be drawn up and decided to half my school funds for college between both of my sons for when I was no longer around.
In other words, I was going to commit suicide...
During that time where it was always midnight, I wept at the slightest provocation, which turned out to be constantly. I slept whenever and wherever I could, since my sleep cycle was so off, there would be times where I would not be able to sleep for a straight 48-72 hours, and so I was always exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally. I walked around in a medicated daze, not knowing what I was doing or saying and not even caring.
I did not want to talk...to anyone, not even to my brothers or sister.
I felt so completely alone in my suffering that I could not imagine anyone conceiving even slightly what I was going through and I was too exhausted to explain.
Not that my siblings tried that hard as we are not a close family and that is putting it mildly.
I received one phone call from my younger brother asking what was going on and when I didn't have the words to answer, he told me to call him back when I could talk.
I didn't call back.
I took it day by day, enduring the most intense emotional pain that I believe I have ever
experienced in my life, so intense that it became almost a physical thing.
I thought I would literally die from it and spent many a day and night in my ex partners arms
sobbing in deep pain and grief.
And I believed that if it didn't kill me, I would kill myself because I could not live through such horrible pain.
I began to give my things away and make necessary decisions and so became very peaceful in my emotional state.
I felt as though a great burden had been lifted.
I could finally breathe again. And I was, for the first time in a very long time, at peace.
Not so for my immediate family who were terrified and worried sick.
I refused to be hospitalized, explaining that I was choosing to handle things differently this time.
My sons were not fooled nor was my ex-partner who wasted no time in calling a 'Family Intervention' to confront me about my illness and how it was affecting the family.
The intervention was a

My family was at a loss so they simply waited, watched and gently cared for me.
It wasn't until my ex-partner's sister Monica came to stay that I had an awakening that saved me.
Monica is a twenty three year old singer/ songwriter who travels on the road.
Immensely talented, fiercely independent, wise beyond her years; it was she who after I had
given her an armload of my things as a gift, began to talk to me about my decision to end my life.
At the time I did not believe I was hearing her, but I was.
A day or so later, Monica left to go to Austin for a few days with musician friends she had
randomly met in downtown Dallas in a single night, in a town she had never been in.
Before she had left, she and Dylan had invited me to Florida to a 'Rainbow Gathering' for
several days of campfires, camp songs, camaraderie and total acceptance.
I hadn't given her an answer but told her I would think about it.
However, when she got back, I told not only would I go, but that I wanted one more chance to be happy. And that I would get down on my knees for one more chance. And that I would try really hard...to be happy.
And you want to know something amazing? I WAS Happy...
Because I made the 'Conscious Decision To BE Happy'.
Monica and Dylan were so overjoyed that they both jumped up and hugged me at once and my sons
are now reassured that 'Mom' is back on the road to recovery.
But it isn't as simple as it may seem. My recovery also requires a change of psychiatrist, a search for a new therapist and commitment to weekly therapy sessions, constant readjustment on my medication...it takes constant work on my part to STAY Happy because I have a brain disorder
that fights against me. When I start to become overwhelmed, I just think,"That means it's 'Me time'...
It Is All Worth It ... Because Life Really Is Beautiful!
And to my wonderful, amazing and loyal family and Friends; I Love You all Dearly With All Of My Heart. Thank You For Holding My Hand In The Dark. You All Are My Soul And My Heart Beat.
And Monica? You Are Awesome!
Until Next Time My Dear Friends...
Love and Light To You All,
LadiofZen
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Barking Dogs

Sunday, January 27, 2013
Ripley and Me
I adopted Ripley when she was seven months old from a couple who obviously wanted to be rid of her. It wasn't long before I realized why. She was pregnant.
While I certainly didn't want a batch of puppies, I couldn't get rid of her either.
She has obviously been abused and my heart connected with hers in a very strong way.
Ripley was not a pretty puppy when I got her; scruffy and too thin, her coat dull and wiry, she desperately needed someone to love and care for her and that someone was me. I haven't been sorry for even one single moment.
She became, without any effort at all, the most loving and intelligent dog I have ever owned and my best friend. She became my shadow and constant companion with the most empathic abilities. Through lovers that came and went, heartache and tragedy, and certainly my best times, she was there by my side. In a winter where my heat had gone off and I lay shivering from the cold, Ripley lay beside me, sharing her warmth.
When I was ill for nine months and bedridden, she never left my side.
And times when I was beset with grief, tears falling from my eyes, she licked the tears away and offered me her comfort. Suffice to say she is my friend and I am hers.
Simply put, we love and understand one another.
I am grateful for that day she came to live with me and I wonder sometimes how I would have got along without her. I don't want to think about it but when the day comes when she is old and past her prime, I will take car of her as she has taken care of me. With love and understanding and I'll be there at her side to the end.
Until Next Time Dear Friends...
Love and Light To All,
LadiofZen
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Using The Powers Of Your Thoughts
Recently I moved from Madison Wi to Austin Tx and began recreating my life.
In doing so, I neglected one major tool for manifesting my desires which was and is the power of thought. I had known this for too many years to count but in the first days in Austin, I had forgotten. Let me explain ...
We moved to Austin and sublet-ed the first few months with just the barest essentials in order to find a new abode, leaving just about everything we owned in storage.
The first few days in Austin, our VW was not drivable and we had no choice but to sit in the house every day. We knew no one in Austin and had no friends or acquaintances which made it lonely at times. It didn't take long before utter and complete boredom set in despite our best efforts to keep ourselves entertained. We couldn't do what needed to be done for our car until the 1st of the month and we didn't have much of a choice with the situation.
We did however have a choice how we saw our situation and what we did with it and that was something I much needed to remember. I hadn't been very positive in the last month and it showed and reflected in my thoughts and words. I realized I needed to change that and immediately change my environment.
Sometimes, when we are in the middle of a change and even when we are not, we forget the power of our thoughts. Thoughts have the power to transform into reality when we really believe in them in a positive way. Someone once told me that if I really wanted something, believe as if I already had it, which is excellent advice.
Want to be healthy? Believe you are well...
Want to get a new job? Believe you will find just the right one...
A new place to live? Believe that you will find the perfect house in just the right neighborhood...
You get the idea but it shows that our mind is a powerful tool for manifesting your desires. If you are open, positive and believe in the Universe's gifts to you, you will get what you want and what you need.
Try it and see ...
"One of the best kept secrets is the power of thought. You create that which you think. Thinking of someone or something actually creates a thought that is sent out into the atmosphere. That is the secret. Thoughts are matter..."
~Mary Dean Atwood from the book Spirit Healing
Until Next time, My Dear Friends...
Love and Light To You All,
LadiofZen
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